Season's Greetings

This is just a quick post to anyone who might be mad enough (like me) to do some blogging. Enjoy your holiday, however long and here are some tips from the Sage of Aylesbury (that's the bear, not me):

* Remember that a relationship is built up over time and it is easy to let undue expectations at this time of year destroy it; if you're partner gets p****d and insults your mother, it is not the end of the world! He/she's still the same person you hooked up with!

Lesser ones:

• Don't eat or drink more than you would normally do when celebrating an event during the rest of the year - this is your time as well, and tomorrow is a day you'll want to enjoy as much as today!
• Ignore the traditions you don't like - if that involves other people, try and create new ones which involve everyone!
• If you want a kip during the day, lie down on the bed and have a proper kip for 20-40 minutes - don't kip in a chair! You'll walk around looking at the wall otherwise.
  
• If you're the cook, write down the timings for everything that you need to do. Don't try and keep all the timings and processes in your head; booze, interruptions, rugrats and other events will conspire to make you miss something. It's a bit late if you're doing a massive bird for Lunch, but you should still have time if it's Dinner.
• If you don't like a present, fall back on praising an aspect of it - avoid "Oh... how interesting..." (which makes it sound like you've found a snail), and if all else fails and you want to give a hint that you don't want anything like that next year "I'm sure that will be really useful". Sadly, you will receive presents, like the horse's head in the godfather, which you cannot refuse; if they're something you can take and lose on holiday, wait until then and give them to a charity shop (in my case, this year, the route to the shop was instantaneous - unwrap, black bin bag, into a canister for friends' relatives in Zimbabwe, where they will appreciate it). Failing that, put them in the loft, wait til you move house and leave them there. :-))
  
• If you get criticism of a present you've given, tell the recipient you're sorry and that you won't commit the social solecism of giving them any further presents. If they're a child, they might (as I did) be upset, but they'll learn some manners!
• For next year, unless you are very, very certain, do not imagine you know someone else's taste is. Viz said instant charity shop present, I cannot believe the giver would use anything so hideous themselves, so why imagine my taste is worse! This is a serial offender who fortunately doesn't visit, who I don't want to upset, but god I wish she'd stop. However she does give me some cracking bottles of wine!

Enjoy the holiday, whatever religion, race or persuasion you are.

I've already done my spuds, parsnips and carrots - now I have the onerous task of opening a bottle and considering whether it's sprouts today or whether I'll do the Cauli Cheese today! (Tomorrow will be cold ham, bubble and squeak and pickles and chutneys)